Day 4: Santa Fe by Day, Amarillo by Evening
From a pre-10-mile-hike fast to a 10,000 calorie day, and got my kicks on Route 66
Hadj was so kind as to give up his bed for me and stay at his girlfriend’s place so that I had a place to stay. What a wonderful host and friend - shout out to that guy, he’s an absolute gem. After slowly arising around 8:30-9am, I wrote a bit, and then Hadj and Grace returned to the casita. I pulled out a stashed jar of my favorite Koeze Cream Nut crunchy peanut butter from Grand Rapids, Michigan (I have no stake in it, but if you’re a peanut butter person, do yourself a favor and order one, or maybe 6) and we got to some morning snacking on the legendary imported peanut butter and rice cakes. After that we were ready to hit a hike just minutes from the Casita.
It was a little mountain with a nice quick ascent called Sun Mountain. The flora was different than any I had seen previously, with certain aspects of the desert features reminding me of Arizona and some of the greenery more closely resembling Southern California or Colorado. This tapestry of topographic features made for some pretty beautiful views, which simultaneously looked lush, mountainous, and desert-like. Locals and tourists alike call New Mexico The Land of Enchantment for a reason. The hike was short - only about a 20-30 minutes each way, but the city and mountain vista at the end along with the light morning sweat and cool air regulating my temperature, it was a very pleasant climb in all respects.
We had purchased 12pm tickets to view the acclaimed Georgia O’Keefe Museum, but I was also craving some Mexican food. This led us to Fiesta Oaxaca, which was down the block from the exhibit. We arrived there, and the menu looked absolutely phenomenal, but we were crunched on time. So we went to the museum to ask to move the reservation. Because of the lovely Spring weekend, the place was hopping. The receptionist was initially hesitant to move our tickets back, but after hearing that we were waiting on food at Fiesta Oaxaca and that I was just passing through town, her tone shifted - oh that’s so yum! Okay, I think we can fit you in at 12:30. She clearly wanted me to to enjoy this meal. And despite the 72 ounce steak awaiting me in the evening, I couldn’t resist a traditional Oaxacan pollo con mole - I can assure you that it did not disappoint. The rich chocolatey sauce with a full-bodied spice over some of the more tender chicken I’d had in recent memory made for a memorable experience. As relatively frequent mole orderer, their interpretation certainly stood out to me in impressive fashion.
We finished our meal just in time to mosey over to the Georgia O’Keefe Museum. As one of the preeminent painters of the 20th century and a remarkable woman who was both ahead of her time, and a quintessential liver of life - O’Keefe’s story and work resonate with many. Her abstract depictions of reality are a sight to behold - from fractal portrayals of the colors and textures of a flower to her soft but elegant landscapes, seeing her work in person was a treat. The museum had also made an intricate and intentional effort to thoughtfully display the work throughout the space - different levels of lighting and wall colors served to accentuate the chosen painting. It was a delightful visual journey that profoundly impacted they way I experienced her work, and made me appreciate it even more. I wish I had the time to go visit her home at Ghost Ranch, but the exhibit was definitely satisfying on its own.
I was supposed to head to Amarillo directly after lunch, but I didn’t want to leave Santa Fe yet - there was more to see and Hadj and I were having a great time. Unfortunately, I didn’t achieve my goal of visiting the extensive collection of art galleries on Canyon Road, a nationally revered street housing some of the country’s great contemporary artists. However, we did make a final stop in the newer George RR Martin-supported Railyard district, which featured a new bar concept he developed called Milk of The Poppy, a reference to a painkilling medicine administered throughout Game of Thrones. While the bar was not yet open, we found an fantastic local ice cream store called La Lechería, which was known for its chile ice cream. I got a mix of red chile with honey and green chile ice cream. They were both delicious, but the green chile was most unique, with a strong green chile pepper flavor and small bits of pepper mixed directly in. It was so fresh and flavorful, but I restrained myself in only eating about half of it - I still had a tremendous amount of food to eat later that evening. I was digging myself a bit of a hole appetite-wise, but I figured starving myself before was not the right move either.
We made one final stop in a vintage western store near where Mage was parked. While I had black ostrich cowboy boots sitting in the backseat of my car, I was still tempted to get some new ones. The prices of the secondhand boots were relatively low given the quality, but I was able to restrain myself to enjoyment without making a purchase. I was also really pushing it, I needed to be on my way. I drove Hadj back to his casita, where we said our goodbyes and I pushed on towards West Texas.
As soon as I pulled out and made my way towards I-40, I immediately threw on the Texas country music - some George Strait, some Willie, and, of course, My Rifle, My Pony, and Me
Whippoorwill in the willow Sings a sweet melody Riding to Amarillo Just my rifle, my pony, and me
This was the part of the journey where I really focused in on capturing the Americana splendor of Route 66. I-40 is one of modern interstate roads that eventually replaced the vast majority of Route 66, and was actually the final interstate to be added before Route 66 was officially decommissioned in 1985. Because of this, many of the significant historical sites along The Mother Road ran along I-40. This begins in Barstow, CA (which I visited earlier in the trip on the way to Las Vegas) and continues through Oklahoma, Missouri, and parts of Arkansas, before transitioning to other interstates. I knew I was in the right place when I began seeing photo-worthy vintage sites along the way, including abandoned old gas stations with murals and historical markets, as well as classic motels that have been, and continue to be, fodder for the imagination of skilled filmmakers, artists, and writers alike. After a couple hours tracing the I-40 and The Mother Road, I entered a somewhat run-down New Mexican town of Tucumari. The classic neon signs, old motels, quirky antique shops were a great entree to this new chapter of the trip, in which I would be seeing a lot more of it.
After Tucumari, I had no time to waste. I wanted to hike Lighthouse Rock in Palo Duro just outside of Amarillo, but my crazy and loyal buddy David had committed to coming to meet me in Texas and join me on the drive to Oklahoma, just for one day. I wasn’t going to make the kid wait (okay, he waited for me for like 10 minutes). I put the pedal to the meta,, cranked up the Texas country, and raced headstrong pick-up trucks that really did their best to outrun Mage, but consistently proved to be unsuccessful. As I approached Amarillo, I saw well over 15 signs advertising the 72oz steak challenge at Big Texan Steak Ranch, a steakhouse, brewery, and overall experience that would only be possible in a place like rural or suburban Texas. This thing was getting real, and I was both excited and nervous to give it a shot.
After about just shy of 2 hours after Tucumari blazing the trail to Amarillo (by evening), I ended up at Cadillac Ranch, where David met me. Some folks handed us their used, but not empty, cans of spray paint so that we could make our own mark. Cadillac Ranch features a beautiful sculpture assortment just outside downtown. Sticking out of the middle of the the desert, several broken-down Cadillacs were wedged into the sand at a slight diagonal. The work has been installed since 1974, so has now been standing for over 50 years. Since its installation, it has become a popular place for travelers to bring their own paint and write or draw something. The cars have become very colorful and varied - adding significantly to the overall aesthetic of the cars amongst a relatively monochromatic dusty landscape. These two aesthetics proved to be noticeably harmonious. The golden late-afternoon sun cast an elegant ray of light on the west side of the installation, making a perfect scene for viewing and capturing photographs. I put my Canon 5d Mark IV to work here and captured some beauties. I’m only posting iPhone photos right now, but I when I get around to exporting the Canon shots, I will put together a Substack gallery for y’all.
We then set out to check in at Big Texan Motel, which sits directly adjacent to The Big Texan Steakhouse. This wasn’t your ordinary bland motel; the facade is a colorful set of homes resembling some sort of American country-style Nyhavn. It had modest but rustic rooms with Western art and wallpaper, and old saloon-style doors leading to the bathroom. It also has a horse hotel attached, and it’s exactly what you think it is. This will be the only ‘fun’ hotel I stay at all trip, as I’ve been going for utilitarian (which this was, given that I can crawl back to the room after consuming 4+ pounds of beef). After a brief pitstop at the hotel, we took a couple hits of the weed pen, exchanged some words of encouragement, and walked across the street to the Main Event.
Big Texan’s facility is a site to behold. It takes everything’s bigger in Texas quite literally. Kitschy western decor stretched across the entryway and continued into the sweeping dining room. It had an arcade, a brewery, and a merchandise store selling all manner of West Texas-style goods. David and I both walked out with a set of large steer horns mounted on a piece of wood - that’ll be going into the new Detroit apartment, without question. After some brief exploration, we were called into the dining room and sat at a regular table. Just in front of the kitchen, there was an elevated table with a subtle spotlight and a set of LED timers mounted above the table facing the dining room. There, we saw a set of challengers taking on these enormous meals, clearly fighting serious mental battles. Man, what did I get us into? I asked myself. There was no turning back, we were going for greatness. “We’re here for the challenge - medium rare please”, we informed the waitress and she went over the rules (no standing up, no outside help, no projectile vomiting… the things you’d expect). As we signed away our lives on a liability waiver, David and I talked strategy - cutting or eating with hands? When and how to sequence the appetizers? How much water do we drink? Do we Joey Chestnut the bread by dipping it in water? - so many considerations.
We looked with a mix of terror and excitement as the waitress set our food down on the competition table. These steaks were bigger than we had even imagined, spilling off the edges of a rather large plate. Here we go… we approached the table and took a seat, awaiting further instruction.
We were told to cut into the meat and approve the cooking temperature. The steak was fantastic - some of the best I’d had in recent memory and certainly the best top sirloin. We both approved our steaks and the timer commenced. Thank you to the homies who tuned into the livestream and sent us words of encouragement and barrages of motivational chirps - y’all kept us going. David came out hot, chopping the steak into small pieces at samurai speed and I went full barbaric carnivore, cutting the steak into four large sections and savagely attacking it with my hands — an appropriate reflection of our personalities, to say the least.
The first half was pretty doable - comfortably finishing within just over 20 minutes. Neither of us had touched the sides yet, which included 3 fried shrimp, an undressed salad, and a dinner roll. David began approaching maximum density around that point and pushed onto the sides. I wanted to make a bit more headway on the steak, but about halfway into the third quarter I started getting real tired of the flavor of steak, a thought that I’d never had before. It was time for me to move onto the sides too. Around this point, a Russian man who had started about a half-hour before us finished the meal with seconds to spare. He told us it was his second attempt at the challenge. He was your typical tough-guy Russian vibe. He had almost given up when we had just sat down at the table. Unsurprising that he persevered. The pressure was on now.
As I approached the fourth quarter with less than 15 minutes remaining, I knew I needed to pick up pace. This is when I cleaned up the side dishes in rapid succession - trying to leave as much time as possible for myself to take on the final piece of steak. This took about 5 minutes, leaving me with only several minutes to get to the end. I broke the fourth wall and looked at the livestream in despair. It was going to be real hard to sprint to the finish line here. The taste of steak had become so disgusting to me that I was dousing the meat in cocktail sauce to neutralize the flavor - the steak sauce was no help. After getting through a small bit of the final quarter, it became clear I was done for. I did not concede, but I limped to the end of the time. It was a humbling experience. My first attempt at man vs food had been unsuccessful. This was a hard one though - some Googling and ChatGPT’ing had informed me that the compete challenge was 7,000 calories and over 500 grams of protein. We got pretty close, but in the end our preparation was not sufficient. We will be back one day. I need my name on the wall, and I know David does too.
As I’d predicted, having the motel across the street was a great decision. I had wishful plans to make it out to a honky tonk, but it was a Sunday so the good ones were closed — not to mention, I wasn’t going anywhere in that condition. We dragged ourselves through the parking lot, up the stairs and directly into our beds. Thankfully, David brought some ultra-strength digestion aids reduce the pain. Majorly clutch. After an hour or two of struggle, I was able to drift off into a meat sweaty sleep. Maybe no steak tomorrow (yeah, right).